How do you know it's time to shave your legs? When your child touches them and makes this face. Several times. The end.
Friday, August 9, 2013
Sunday, August 4, 2013
Karma is a Toilet Bowl
Never one to let her mother have the last laugh (or 5 minutes of sleep), Beauty let me have it for that 8 hours of glorious sleep I had after I decided to turn off the monitor. In fact, she let everyone have it that she thought might be remotely involved in the conspiracy. That's right, the stomach bug took us down for the count last week. Mercifully, it came in waves so that no one person had it at the same time, and it only stayed for a short while but man did it feel like an eternity on that bathroom floor.
Since having our little Beauty we've been no stranger to the stomach bug (or runny noses, or colds, or the various forms and sounds of coughs, or any other malady you can think of). If memory serves me correctly, (which it usually doesn't and that's a whole different topic) I believe this is our third household battle with what I consider the worst kind of plague to be brought down on the modern man.
By now we've gotten it down to a solid routine in our household. I scream at the top of my lungs down the stairs (or into the monitor at the top of my lungs) for hubby to get his ever loving behind out of the bed (step 1). He then takes on the soiled bedding and I take on the soiled child. While this seems to work pretty well for us, it puts me in the direct line of fire for any residual bug that may still be lingering in Beauty's ever so delicate digestive tract. Anyway, you get the idea of what comes next... Mommy has taken one for the team 3 out of 3 times (wait, who said this system was a good one ?) while daddy on the other hand seems to have gotten the mommy immune system I was supposed to have gotten when I gave birth (they forgot to give me the manual and third arm too). However, this time was different, Beauty decided to be an equal opportunity sharer (we've been working on that) and bless us all with losing a pants size (Hey, silver linings right? )
So that's what we've been up to. Contemplating the meaning of life and the blessings of children from our bathroom floor. I guess I'll think twice before turning off that monitor next time and will maybe opt for washing the sheets instead.
Friday, July 26, 2013
Let's Try This Again
Life has definitely changed to say the least as evidenced by the events of yesterday morning below {and my subsequent decision that maybe I should be documenting the glorious moments of Motherhood}.
12:15 am - Baby "Beauty"{not so baby anymore} starts crying on the monitor
12:16 am- Turn off monitor
Glorious Sleep
8:10 am- 10 minutes late already. Walk up the stairs to get Beauty up for the day. Greeted with a familiar smell halfway up the stairs. Stomach sinks. This isn't going be good.
8:11 am- Confirm source of smell. Make a mental note not to make last night's dinner again. Moment of guilt for turning off the monitor.
8:12 am- Yell down the stairs to the Husband to get upstairs. This was a two man job.
8:15ish- Time gets a little fuzzy at this point. Dunk Beauty in the bathtub. Proceed to scrub and comb things out of her hair.
8:25ish- Sigh of relief that it doesn't seem to be that horrid stomach bug that has graced our house before*. Notice the stench has not completely left the hair.
8:35ish- Rewash hair in the kitchen sink
8:50ish- Hair still stinks. Pondering if MDO will notice the smell and make her go home.
8:55ish- Decide they will notice, not believe me that she's not sick, and send her home.
8:56ish- Douse her in my dry shampoo and hope that takes care of the smell once and for all.
8:57ish: Decide it's good enough
9:10ish: Realize I forgot to put on mascara {my desert island cosmetic}while driving down the interstate.
9:15ish: Drop off not so baby baby at MDO.
9:20ish: Burn my tongue on the coffee that was supposed to salvage the morning.
9:25ish: CVS pit-stop for mascara
9:30ish: Dry cleaner pit-stop in hopes of salvaging those beautiful bumper pads that I had made in dry-clean only fabric {I had forgotten to tell Beauty to aim away from those when she was sick, my bad}
9:35ish: Turn up Miley Cyrus to drown out the fact that I am almost 30 {I know we weren't going to talk about that}, and pretend like I am sixteen and will not be going home later to a house that will probably still smell like vomit...and last night's dishes because let's be honest....those are still in the sink.
So there you have it who wouldn't want to document these joyous moments in Motherhood?
More updates to come and I promise it won't be three more years...well I mostly promise.
*come to find out a 12 hour bug was going around the MDO class, oops. At least we weren't the ones who started it.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
The Light at the End of the Tunnel
Don't worry you haven't missed much...unless you consider hearing about an agent who isn't worth the money they get paid, broken pendant lights, and chair fabric drama worth reading....in which case...I'll have to fill you in later. I still may as we are still dealing with all three...in fact here is an update on that first one...our agent...I woke up this morning to the following e-mail...
"{Insert Buyer here} would like to do her final walk thru tomorrow, Wednesday, at 9:30 a.m. Don't worry if your house is in disarray "
Umm....lady not only is my house in disarray it looks like it came straight out of an episode of Hoarders. I may as well be buying the house next door to store all this stuff in...{have you seen that episode?} Oh and lets not forget the tumbleweeds of dog hair rolling around in my house...or the fact that my vacuum is currently being serviced so its not likely to get better before tomorrow morning...sheesh.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Ramblings
I have managed to drag myself out of bed for two weeks now {T-TH}at 5:15am to go to work early and use the gym. It's the new hair cut...or possibly that there were no big pay raises this year so I figure I'll take the perks where I can get them...two things I have concluded...ok maybe more {getting up early really makes me reflect on life}.
1. Don't expect to lose any weight only working out for two weeks...in fact the scale tells me I have gained some...It's muscle I say....MUSCLE! 2. I'm pretty sure the people in my office complex think I live out of my car since it previously and currently contains the following items...a gym bag with shoes, a hairdryer, flat iron, and other necessities sitting in the front seat...a patio furniture cover laying across my backseat..which could be mistaken for some sort of palet....a bag from Publix...a bag from Hobby Lobby...some hangers...and various water bottles strewn about my car...oh and lets not forget the roll of toilet paper wedged next to my emergency brake...it comes in handy when your nose starts running while your driving...but looks ridiculous to Joe Schmoe walking past your car. 3. People who are not service/delivery people park in the reserved parking behind two of our buildings and it really ticks me off (I work in property management) and you know what I have to say to you people...what makes you better than everyone else to think that you deserve a spot behind the building and if the building burns down and the fire truck can't get to the hydrant because everything is blocked don't come suing me....
Let's move on because that topic gets me really worked up...Happy Thoughts...Things are finally starting to bloom around here and it thrills my soul...my seasonal depression was really getting out of control with all the cold and rain and darkness...the most exciting addition is the peony bush that finally bloomed...they say it can take a couple years to start and I had given up hope since we will be moving this summer...but one surprised me and I got to see the fruit of my labor. My grandparents had them everywhere at their house and they have become my favorite flower for that very reason. I'll be planting some of their peonies at the new house and can't wait.
I bought a lemon tree and a lime tree...while this may not be exciting to some it is to me...and this is my blog. Lemon trees were in full bloom during our trip to Italy last year and I promised I would get one...and I have...promised fulfilled...I bought the lime tree just because I love margaritas and other various frozen drinks that you would put limes in and thought it would be fun...we will see how it goes...they are little twigs now...but I have high hopes for them...and the things I can create with their fruit...this just in...while I was looking for the link to the lime tree {they must be sold out} I discovered they have a pomegranate tree...watch out...I may have an orchard on my patio...
Wow...this post is growing longer than anticipated...and we really didn't cover a whole lot...maybe I'll be back soon for ramblings part two...I know you can't wait.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Once Upon a Blog
Anyway...I have delcared my New Year's resolutions late this year...I have...drug...or is it dragged...I never know...my lazy butt out of the bed to work out at 6 am now for two days...so we're on to something. I discovered my first stretch mark!S! on my thighs this weekend and it was both highly traumatic and highly motivating...nothing against stretch marks I just don't have a child to show for it...just a lot of carbs...margaritas...and sitting. I'm also getting my hair cut for the first time in 7, yes, SEVEN months and I'm ordering a fresh batch of ProActive because at 26 my face, unlike my body, has decided it is 16 again....oh how I have let myself go...and this blog but enough about that...I am making a change I am making the effort to revive myself and this blog...and hopefully between those two things my husband and my readers won't leave me...well my reader(s) may have already left...so Happy Tuesday...See ya Soon!
Monday, March 8, 2010
For Your Viewing Pleasure
Friday, March 5, 2010
Meet Bernadette
and she is having a bad hair day. You see, where Bernadette is from it has been extremely cold and dry...thus making for very static-y hair drying. As if the flaky skin and breaking nails weren't bad enough now Bernadette's hair has joined the revolt. Bernadette isn't sure she or her body can take another minute of this dreary, cold winter weather....I feel you on that one sister!
{Editor's note: Please excuse the fact that I have totally lost my mind...because I have...my seasonal depression is out of control these days...and so I needed to paint something to make me laugh...and that Bernadette she makes me laugh...or maybe the fact that I named her. I'll be back with a Utah post but Blogger and I had a disagreement about my video this morning...apparently it doesn't appreciate my large HD video files...Happy Friday and here's to a warm weekend!}
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Be Right Back
We made it in late (relative to my 10pm bedtime) Sunday night and I am ashamed to say my suitcase is still not unpacked. I merely pick the things out of it I need each morning while it lays hazardously in the middle of the closet floor....waiting for me to break my ankle...but in my world that would be less painful than unpacking my over the weight limit suitcase....
Now that I think about it...I don't even think I posted where we were going or that we were going anywhere...wow...we have a lot to catch up on...we went skiing...in Utah...and it was an adventure...like I said I'll be right back with more soon...
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Dear Martha
Yes you Martha Stewart. I just needed a minute to let you know you've let me down....I have been lusting over these lights since I saw them in my This Old House magazine months ago.
I have dreamed of having a place to put them...and now that I will actually have a kitchen island over which they can hang...you have gone and discontinued them...and not even ebay can save me from my grief...I am now left searching for a light to fill the SoHo pendant void in my life....and I have a feeling that the milk glass diffuser is going to be hard to get past...but I'll try to move on... it helped a little when I logged onto Home Depot's website in search of a replacement that I discovered they are now carrying your outdoor furniture and closet organiztion...I thought I was going to have to forget about you completely but now that you are going to be at my local Home Depot I guess we can still be friends....if you can help me with my closet organization needs.
I'm still upset about the milk glass diffuser,
Ashley
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Square One
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Making Attempting a Comeback
With that said, life since January has been a flurry of activity. I went to my first Atlanta market and it was everything I thought it would be and more {post forthcoming}, we had a FABULOUS long weekend at the beach {another post forthcoming}, I went to Oklahoma City for work {trust me there will be no post on this} and we have had numerous after work, Saturday morning, Sunday afternoon meetings with Real Estate agents trying to figure this whole thing out...oh for about the last 4 weeks or so {or this}. That doesn't include the 687,321,875 hours we have spent cleaning JUNK out of our current house. I don't know how we accumulated so much junk...oh wait yes I do...our parents told us to come get our childhood stuff out of their houses. {note to parents: it is not necessary that you keep every Barbie doll your child ever played with...they don't need counseling for that later...they need counseling for the above mentioned hours spent cleaning their house}
We are making the last final push to get things in order before the house goes on the market Friday, but I have come to the conclusion that people are just going to have to deal. They are going to have to deal with the fact that in reality my bathrobe and towel hang outside the shower because I use it each and everyday...and hiding such things under the bed or in a far away closet is extremely inconvenient for someone who has just taken a shower and is freezing. They are also going to have to deal with the fact that I enjoy having no less that 326 bottles of shampoo in the shower...sometimes I feel fruity sometimes I like coconut...so sorry. Isn't it enough that I made sure all my Pyrex and Corningware is stacked neatly in the cabinet, or that I may never find any of the other stuff that I had to stash away somewhere...that I will probably be finding pot holders in my nightstand for years to come? Oh and while I'm at it one last thing...we do have dirty laundry believe it or not and I do need to have the hamper in the closet lest I throw my clothes in the bathroom floor never to be picked up again...so you'll just have to imagine how big the closet is without a hamper...since of course you the buyer will not need a place for things such as dirty clothes....ok I think I am done...apparently I was correct about need counseling over this...how I have missed this little blog.
So I will be back...with some more fun posts...with pictures...I just don't want to risk it since I still have no luck uploading them on this computer anymore...and I am done trying to figure out why.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
I Have a Good Excuse
1. Blogger and I still disagree about uploading photos with posts...it isn't taking too kindly to them and I haven't had the time or patience to deal with it
2. I have to go out of town again for work....but will then enjoy a long weekend at the beach
3. There have been LOTS of things going that have totally disrupted my daily routine....well really one...I had a picture to share as proof but refer to #1 on that one...and no it is not a baby...I'll share more if and when the decision is final...if I don't have a stroke before then.
I'll be back I promise with pictures...I'll just have to blog from home...my work computer kicks me off blogger when I upload pictures...I'm pretty sure its a conspiracy...Have a wonderful week. I'm off to Oklahoma City!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Labor of Love
I'm just going to go ahead and wrap up Christmas...otherwise it will be March 12th and you'll be getting a picture of my Christmas tree. The weeks leading up to Christmas were such a flurry of gift buying, gift wrapping, candy making, tree decorating, stressing, packing, one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish....that I probably could drag it out that long to everyone's pain and misery. Instead, I thought I would share something that is so easy...that I can do it....and it makes a great gift...at least I think so....you may have to ask my 873,482 family members and co-workers who received some.
I start craving apple butter sometime during the first week of October...it just happens...something about the crispness in the air reminding me of the crispness of an apple....I don't know...it just hits me. So this year, instead of sitting around moping about how I won't get to go to Huber's in the fall I decided to take action and do something about it. I Googled appler butter and decided I would make my own. I'm not sure how it happened...divine intervention maybe but I found what sounded like a foolproof recipe. Go figure it was over on Darby's blog. She does all sorts of great homemade things...and she has three kids....and I just have three dogs so how hard could it be?
Crock Pot Apple Butter {yields 5 pints}
16 peeled, cored & chopped apples
1 1/2 C white sugar
1 C light brown sugar
2 T cinnamon
1/2 t ground cloves
1/2 t ground nutmeg
1/2 t kosher salt
Place all ingredients in crock pot and stir so all apples are coated. Cook on HIGH for 1 hour. Reduce to LOW for 8 to 10 hours; stir occasionally...but really walk away for 8 hours...I think I forgot the stir occasionally part and it was just fine.
A few notes. I used a variety of apples. I read that the best apples for making apple butter are the baking kind, or the ones that have a firmer texture, so I used some granny smith, gala, cameo etc...Also, before adding the dry ingredients to the crockpot I dumped them in a bowl and mixed together so that everything distributed evenly and there wasn't one apple piece that tasted like a clove.
{You should really put the cover on your crockpot at this point but I was too busy trying to take a picture to be distracted by details}
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Christmas Portrait
Is there food as far as you can see and cider to keep you warm?
Until something goes awry...
Do you feel like your Christmas blog post is stretching on into enternity...so you'll have mercy and end it here?
We had a very merry, chaotic, whirlwind, tiring Christmas week filled with family, food, laughter, and best of all memories...oh and lots of driving. We are so blessed to have so many people that love us and that we call family. We hope that everyone had a safe and Merry Christmas and that 2010 will maybe just slow down a little bit....
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Live from Louisville
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Insert Clever Christmas Post Here
Thursday, December 17, 2009
A Little Tip
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
While You Wait
I'm not really sure he knew what to think about the whole event.
Ta Da...here is the finished product...I think it turned out so cute...maybe in a hundred years or so our children will get in on the tradition.

























































