Friday, August 9, 2013

How do you know

How do you know it's time to shave your legs? When your child touches them and makes this face. Several times. The end.

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Karma is a Toilet Bowl

Never one to let her mother have the last laugh (or 5 minutes of sleep), Beauty let me have it for that 8 hours of glorious sleep I had after I decided to turn off the monitor. In fact, she let everyone have it that she thought might be remotely involved in the conspiracy.  That's right,  the stomach bug took us down for the count last week. Mercifully, it came in waves so that no one person had it at the same time, and it only stayed for a short while but man did it feel like an eternity on that bathroom floor. 

Since having our little Beauty we've been no stranger to the stomach bug (or runny noses, or colds, or the various forms and sounds of coughs, or any other malady you can think of). If memory serves me correctly, (which it usually doesn't and that's a whole different topic) I believe this is our third household battle with what I consider the worst kind of plague to be brought down on the modern man. 

By now we've gotten it down to a solid routine in our household. I scream at the top of my lungs down the stairs (or into the monitor at the top of my lungs) for hubby to get his ever loving behind out of the bed (step 1). He then takes on the soiled bedding and I take on the soiled child. While this seems to work pretty well for us, it puts me in the direct line of fire for any residual bug that may still be lingering in Beauty's ever so delicate digestive tract.  Anyway,  you get the idea of what comes next... Mommy has taken one for the team 3 out of 3 times  (wait, who said this system was a good one ?) while daddy on the other hand seems to have gotten the mommy immune system I was supposed to have gotten when I gave birth (they forgot to give me the manual and third arm too). However, this time was different,  Beauty decided to be an equal opportunity sharer (we've been working on that) and bless us all with losing a pants size (Hey, silver linings right? )

So that's what we've been up to. Contemplating the meaning of life and the blessings of children from our bathroom floor. I guess I'll think twice before turning off that monitor next time and will maybe opt for washing the sheets instead.

Friday, July 26, 2013

Let's Try This Again

Where to start? How about it's been almost three years since I have posted ANYTHING. That's embarrassing {but par for the course with my self diagnosed ADD}. Here's the cliffs notes version : We moved, We had a baby {we can talk about that later}, and I'm no longer 25 as stated in the About Me section {we won't talk about that later}.

Life has definitely changed to say the least as evidenced by the events of yesterday morning below {and my subsequent decision that maybe I should be documenting the glorious moments of Motherhood}.

12:15 am - Baby "Beauty"{not so baby anymore} starts crying on the monitor
12:16 am- Turn off monitor

Glorious Sleep

8:10 am- 10 minutes late already. Walk up the stairs to get Beauty up for the day. Greeted with a familiar smell halfway up the stairs. Stomach sinks. This isn't going be good.
8:11 am- Confirm source of smell. Make a mental note not to make last night's dinner again. Moment of guilt for turning off the monitor.
8:12 am- Yell down the stairs to the Husband to get upstairs. This was a two man job.
8:15ish- Time gets a little fuzzy at this point. Dunk Beauty in the bathtub. Proceed to scrub and comb things out of her hair.
8:25ish- Sigh of relief that it doesn't seem to be that horrid stomach bug that has graced our house before*. Notice the stench has not completely left the hair.
8:35ish- Rewash hair in the kitchen sink
8:50ish- Hair still stinks. Pondering if MDO will notice the smell and make her go home.
8:55ish- Decide they will notice, not believe me that she's not sick, and send her home.
8:56ish- Douse her in my dry shampoo and hope that takes care of the smell once and for all.
8:57ish: Decide it's good enough

9:10ish: Realize I forgot to put on mascara {my desert island cosmetic}while driving down the interstate.
9:15ish: Drop off not so baby baby at MDO.
9:20ish: Burn my tongue on the coffee that was supposed to salvage the morning.
9:25ish: CVS pit-stop for mascara
9:30ish: Dry cleaner pit-stop in hopes of salvaging those beautiful bumper pads that I had made in dry-clean only fabric {I had forgotten to tell Beauty to aim away from those when she was sick, my bad}
9:35ish: Turn up Miley Cyrus to drown out the fact that I am almost 30 {I know we weren't going to talk about that}, and pretend like I am sixteen and will not be going home later to a house that will probably still smell like vomit...and last night's dishes because let's be honest....those are still in the sink.

So there you have it who wouldn't want to document these joyous moments in Motherhood?

More updates to come and I promise it won't be three more years...well I mostly promise.

*come to find out a 12 hour bug was going around the MDO class, oops. At least we weren't the ones who started it.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

I should probably title this post is anyone still out there...but I think I know the answer to that by now. The movers are set to come a week from today and I can finally see the light at the end of this moving tunnel...of may be the train about to run me over but at this point that is probably ok too. I really had plans to be blogging these past couple months about what was going on but what I didn't anticipate was how busy we would get and how draining the whole process is all around....we are never moving again...that's right I said NEVER.

Don't worry you haven't missed much...unless you consider hearing about an agent who isn't worth the money they get paid, broken pendant lights, and chair fabric drama worth which case...I'll have to fill you in later. I still may as we are still dealing with all fact here is an update on that first one...our agent...I woke up this morning to the following e-mail...

"{Insert Buyer here} would like to do her final walk thru tomorrow, Wednesday, at 9:30 a.m. Don't worry if your house is in disarray "

Umm....lady not only is my house in disarray it looks like it came straight out of an episode of Hoarders. I may as well be buying the house next door to store all this stuff in...{have you seen that episode?} Oh and lets not forget the tumbleweeds of dog hair rolling around in my house...or the fact that my vacuum is currently being serviced so its not likely to get better before tomorrow morning...sheesh.

So there is your little glimpse into life right now and don't worry I will be back as life starts to settle...I'll leave you with my "happy place" that has helped me keep my sanity amidst the craziness...I imagine myself sitting here on our new back silence...without a box or tuft of dog hair in sight. The only problem now is finding someone to build this for me...that and banishing tufts of dog hair when you have 3 dogs...wait what was that I was saying about the light at the end of the tunnel?

Friday, April 30, 2010


Rather than stress myself out over having to come up with a unified blog post about something, I thought I would just ramble about lots of things...things that I probably could have written a unified post about...I just didn't do it at the time and now its time to catch up.

I have managed to drag myself out of bed for two weeks now {T-TH}at 5:15am to go to work early and use the gym. It's the new hair cut...or possibly that there were no big pay raises this year so I figure I'll take the perks where I can get them...two things I have concluded...ok maybe more {getting up early really makes me reflect on life}.
1. Don't expect to lose any weight only working out for two fact the scale tells me I have gained some...It's muscle I say....MUSCLE! 2. I'm pretty sure the people in my office complex think I live out of my car since it previously and currently contains the following items...a gym bag with shoes, a hairdryer, flat iron, and other necessities sitting in the front seat...a patio furniture cover laying across my backseat..which could be mistaken for some sort of palet....a bag from Publix...a bag from Hobby Lobby...some hangers...and various water bottles strewn about my car...oh and lets not forget the roll of toilet paper wedged next to my emergency comes in handy when your nose starts running while your driving...but looks ridiculous to Joe Schmoe walking past your car. 3. People who are not service/delivery people park in the reserved parking behind two of our buildings and it really ticks me off (I work in property management) and you know what I have to say to you people...what makes you better than everyone else to think that you deserve a spot behind the building and if the building burns down and the fire truck can't get to the hydrant because everything is blocked don't come suing me....

Let's move on because that topic gets me really worked up...Happy Thoughts...Things are finally starting to bloom around here and it thrills my seasonal depression was really getting out of control with all the cold and rain and darkness...the most exciting addition is the peony bush that finally bloomed...they say it can take a couple years to start and I had given up hope since we will be moving this summer...but one surprised me and I got to see the fruit of my labor. My grandparents had them everywhere at their house and they have become my favorite flower for that very reason. I'll be planting some of their peonies at the new house and can't wait.

I bought a lemon tree and a lime tree...while this may not be exciting to some it is to me...and this is my blog. Lemon trees were in full bloom during our trip to Italy last year and I promised I would get one...and I have...promised fulfilled...I bought the lime tree just because I love margaritas and other various frozen drinks that you would put limes in and thought it would be fun...we will see how it goes...they are little twigs now...but I have high hopes for them...and the things I can create with their fruit...this just in...while I was looking for the link to the lime tree {they must be sold out} I discovered they have a pomegranate out...I may have an orchard on my patio...

Wow...this post is growing longer than anticipated...and we really didn't cover a whole lot...maybe I'll be back soon for ramblings part two...I know you can't wait.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Once Upon a Blog

So there used to be this blog I wrote...back when nothing was going on in my life worth blogging about. Then all of a sudden, my life was thrown in to complete decided to majorly pick-up, house was going, going, has gone on the market, and my husband made me leave the house to be on the rare occasion that I had five minutes to myself...I usually chose sleep. I have high hopes to return to blogging. Work has slowed down, the house is finally on the market, and my husband has decided to run off and travel all the time for work...although he usually takes his laptop with that doesn't help you any.

Anyway...I have delcared my New Year's resolutions late this year...I have...drug...or is it dragged...I never lazy butt out of the bed to work out at 6 am now for two we're on to something. I discovered my first stretch mark!S! on my thighs this weekend and it was both highly traumatic and highly motivating...nothing against stretch marks I just don't have a child to show for it...just a lot of carbs...margaritas...and sitting. I'm also getting my hair cut for the first time in 7, yes, SEVEN months and I'm ordering a fresh batch of ProActive because at 26 my face, unlike my body, has decided it is 16 again....oh how I have let myself go...and this blog but enough about that...I am making a change I am making the effort to revive myself and this blog...and hopefully between those two things my husband and my readers won't leave me...well my reader(s) may have already Happy Tuesday...See ya Soon!